COMMUNION
October 7, 2020 & April 15, 2021
Agha Inamullah Khan
Watched one of my favorite song “Rose” by Bette Midler after a morning prayer.
Breathing in mist from fluttering flowers admixed in breeze that
creeped through green Nylon mesh of the window in living room.
Blue sky winks at me.
Clouds dodging each other; shimmering orange hue, and gold lining from rising sun on horizon.
Solitude, and a peep inside my soul
Evaluating how much nature has evolved itself in me
From remorse to never ending sense of accomplishments.
There have been constant wars within
And they have intensified
since January, when Mom left, and then September 2019, when Farooq left without
a goodbye.
I have been desperately searching Allah; since she left.
I guess she knew, and did not want me around.
Go son,
you must be tired, see you in the morning
I am still waiting for that morning
Never had to seek Him when she was around.
And doubting His existence quite often has been heaving
The more I am enlightened with knowledge; the lonelier I feel
And
more prone to be exposed to such deviations erupting from within.
All that happens; seems so programmed
Yet disguised under the
customary label "Nature", conceptualized by Almighty.
Three decades ago it echoed from the contours of Pineal
"There is a hole in your brain and we contact you through that hole"
I was afraid, they would categorize me a Schizophrenic
I have orbited between the parallel worlds in multi-dimensional multiverse since ages
Stretching my very existence from magnetized DNA wormholes
Transmitting conscience tunneling information to and fro
DNA, yes the biological internet
The supernatural antenna suspended in aqua that anchors it
And she misses me more than His loneness outside Hubble volume
Despite illuminating the invisible dark matter; interconnected in harmony
How I manage is the Hell within
And chain of a million complex
reactions neutralizing critical thinking, that demands logic; breeding on
common sense which often malfunctions, and defies Him from inadequate inputs.
Our creator!
Our savior!
Or the devil
My delusional DAJAL
Pulling me down in bottomless dungeon
Traversing from pineal through a worm hole pulled to a black
hole of a dying soul.
I am not surrendering my
DNA to MK Ultra
To be corrupted
Antagonized with His
rebel; the DAJAL
Hey! Do I need Prozac
again????
More I learn, the lonelier I become, and that’s exactly when I
feel I have lost my mother.
Had it not been for His gifted curiosity, I would surely have been
an orphan.
His modus operandi often torments, because I am one hell of a fiddler labelling NOW as an Error
Dragging YESTERDAYS pushed in TOMORROWS
to comfort me devoid of any dimension
His solitude is the very
reason of torment within; and His very compulsion
Devising the Delusional
multiverse
He has evolved
I have begun to see Him differently
“Nature” rather; than Mullah’s made monster out of Him, and I’m
more at Peace.
He has reflected on me
different dimensions
Advocating suspension of our souls like
integral proteins in cellular lipid bi-layer membrane obeying to Nucleus; as
programmed
Guiding creations
Holding blue prints on
invisible matter projecting Him
From chromosomal holograph in me to galactic interface
Nature is mom
And I am part of Her/him
Although could not be described as gender specific entity
I see Him as a mother
A delicate rose
An infant’s simile
A dew drop
A palm in prayer
An unexplained joy of
a cuddle
From the warmth of
togetherness
To haunting withdrawal
in an absolute loneness
Wandering outside Hubble
volume of cosmos
I see Him everywhere now
in all forms
I see Him in to you and
I see Him into me
I see Him in a latex
drop dribbling from a Cactus
With knowledge,
discouraging miracles; teaching self-reliance
Hard labor and
exploration
He is not just watching
over us; He is watching with us
We are all spectators including
Him
And He is spectacular
Sending out love and
blessings down our way
Reassuring happiness in
eternity
Let us make God proud again
In His true reflection
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